Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:43 pm

MISIS: Hindi ko na kaya 'to! Araw-araw nalang tayong nag-aaway
Mabuti pa, umalis na ako sa bahay na 'to!
MISTER: Ako rin, sawang-sawa na! Away rito,away roon! Mabuti pa
siguro, sumama na ako sa 'yo!

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:44 pm

”Umuwi si mister nang 4:00 AM at nakita niya ang
kanyang misis na may katalik na lalaki sa kama”...
Misis: (sumigaw) SAAN KA GALING?!
Mister: Sino 'yang katabi mo?
Misis: GRABE KA! HUWAG MONG IBAHIN ANG USAPAN!

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:45 pm

ROD: Bakit bad trip ka?
HARRY: Nagtampo sa 'kin ang utol ko.
ROD: Bakit naman?
HARRY: Nakalimutan ko kasi ang birthday niya.
ROD: 'Yun lang? Anong masama ru'n?
HARRY: Ang masama ru'n... twins kami! Twins!

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:46 pm

[ceter]TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher mam!!
[/center]

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:48 pm

MISIS: Inday! nakita mo ba senyorito mo? kanina ko
hinahanap eh!

INDAY: Hindi ko po alam sinyura!

MISIS: Nambabae na naman siguro yun! Di mo ba
talaga nakita?

INDAY: Hindi po sinyura, kasi pag gising ko po kanina ....
wala na siya sa tabi ko eh!

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Mon Jun 29, 2009 10:49 pm

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct! Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria Maam !!

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:56 am

--wala ba kaung napapancn sa mga nangyayari??

--sa laat ng *** scandal ni hayden,

--lageng mei ABSOLUTE DRINKING WATER

--sa senate hearing,

--nung hindi makahinga c katrina,

--ABSOLUTE din an ininom,

--tapos ang ibinuhos kei hayden ABSOLUTE din

--ndi kea lahat ng nangyari ay isa lamang malaking

--commercial ng ASOLUTE DRINKING WATER??

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:03 am

anak: inay, un BF cuh ndi naniniwala sa langit at impyerno

ina: pakasal kau at ipalasapa mo sa kanya nag langit
at acu nmn ang magpapakita sa knya ng..

IMPYERNO...

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:08 am

Katrina never gonna dance again,
Guilty Hayden have got a rhythm

And it's easy to pretend,
Katrina knows Hayden's not a fool

Should have known better than
To hide is cam,
The wasted chance Hayden have give..

So Katrina never dance again,
the way she danced with hayden..

--wEe kinanta neah..

--repu aman!

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:11 am

BF: subo mu na..

GF: panu?

BF: sipsipin mu

Gf: ganito?

bF: oo tapos higupin mu..

GF ayoko kadiRi..

BF: arte, cge masarap ean..

GF: yuck! mei buhok sa diLa cuh..

BF: xempre....

--BALOT yan gaga!

eve!

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:14 am

si Juan magsusuicide

pagdating sa duLo ng buiLding..

JUAN: an taas!

(pumikit ng matindi)

JUAN: Lord, give me a sign..

(pagbukas ng mata neah, nkita neah sa BILLBOARD)

NIKE: just do it.!

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:20 am

President Barack Obama finally calls up Malacanang:

OBAMA: May I speak with that small but terrible
Filipina who is pride of all Filipinos

GMA: (kinilig) Yes? How are you Mr. President?

OBAMA: Congratulations! That was a great
performance you gave at my inauguration

CHARICE..!

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:26 am

PIOLO: I ust need 5 things in my life..

1. some friends

2. some foods

3. some work

4. some love

and..

5.Some Milby

save nmn ni Sam..

SAM: I just need 5 things in my life too..!

1. Few works

2. Few friends

3. Few food

4. few love

and..

5. FEW-LO Pascual

gudnyt or murnyt.. tuLog na au..
REPU aman jan oh..
weEe,
nyt nyt

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Fri Jul 03, 2009 10:42 pm

GF:SAAN TAYO PUPUNTA?
BF:DOON SA MADILIM
GF:HA?
BF:TRUST ME!
GF:OK!(PAGDATING DOON)
BF:BAKIT NAGHUBAD KA?
BF:WAG KANG MAINGAY!
GF:HUHUBAD NA DIN AKO!
BF:BAKIT TATAE KA DIN BA?

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Fri Jul 03, 2009 10:43 pm

A COUPLE HAD THREE KIDS NAMES CRAZY,SOMEBODY AND NOBODY

NOBODY WAS THE FAV.

SOMEBODY WAS JEALOUS TO NOBODY.SO HE KILLED NOBODY.

CRAZY SAW WHAT HAPPENED, HE CALLED THE COPS AND SAID..

HELLO POLICE?SOMEBODY KILLED NOBODY~!

THE COP SAID, ARE YOU CRAZY?

CRAZY SAID,

YES IM CRAZY!

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jul 05, 2009 2:19 pm

Gusto mo ng joke?

Oo?

ako din eh, gusto ko.
ahahahahahaha. [korny]

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jul 05, 2009 2:37 pm

-akid asked his pregnant mom:

"anu nasa tyan neuh??"

-the mom answered:

"kapatud mu"..

-the kid asked..

"love mu ba xa?"

--mom:

"oo"

--kid:

"weh, adEek ca pla eeh, bkit mu xa kinaen??"

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:59 pm

gus2 nio joke?

ito joke:

ang joke joke ang joke joke.. ang joke ang joke ang joke joke

kantahin mo

tatawa na yan

hahaha

CORNI!

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jul 12, 2009 8:28 pm

eto..... maaaring may nakarinig na neto pero sa mga di pa....

Man: kuya babalik ko tong cd na nabili ko sanyo..
Vendor: bakit naman? ano ba problema?
Man: nung nilagay ko sa cd player namen, walang lumabas na picture o sound man lang...
Vendor:bakit ano ba pangalan ng cd na yan?
Man: Lense Cleaner

....sa mga natawa...ang bababaw nyo...sa mga hindi at na kornihan...sory na lng kayo...

....di pa na aaprub bahan ng senado ang batas na pinag babawal ang mga corny jokes(reclusion perpetua

pa naman parusa nun kung saka sakale)....w8 lng kayo...pag my naisip akong joke....kayo unang

makaka alam....sana nga may maiisip ako..

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Mon Jul 13, 2009 4:49 pm

the brain is divided into 2 parts:

the left part and the right part....

in the right thers noting left, in the left thers nothing right....

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Mon Jul 13, 2009 5:03 pm

my dalawang students:

John: ang saket ng ulo ko!
Jorge: alam mo kase john, ang ulo para yang chan, pag walang laman sumasaket..

* lum ko sumaket nyan nyo kakatawa...repu naman...

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:59 pm

nag papasagot si mam montalla sa board, ng taasan ng kamay ang mga studiante...

...MAM NO. 1 PO AKO....MOM AKO PO....NO 2 MAM....

napuno ng ingay ang buong klase at sa huling no. ngtaas ng kamay si john...

tinuro ni mam si john sabay baba ng mga ibang kamay at bumalik ang katahimikan.....

John: mam, may i go out?

XD...

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:17 pm

^^
^^
--haha cnung john ean??

jowk cuh aman

tatay: honey, mei bad news au sau

nanay: anu un pa?

tatay: galing au sa doktor, baog daw au..

nanay:alam mu pa, galing din au sa doctor, buntis daw au..

nanay: wew! buti na lahn nabuntis au bagu ca pa nabaog..

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:51 pm

john...clasm8 ko un....look at my hoobies...

jowk:

my isang sundalo sa mindanao na may dalng sugatan na sundalo sa kanyang likod:

Wounded:pare, baba mo na ako, iwan mo na ako, bka ma abutan ka ng abu sayaf, iwan mo na ako
death wish ko na sayo,
Other:sige pare, igagalang ko ang iyong hiling
Wounded:pare, w8 my isa pa akong wish
Other: ano un?
Wounded: alam mo naman bahay namen di ba?
Other:oo bkt?, dalas ko nga matulog sa inyo di ba
Wounded: oo nga pala, pwes ikaw na bahala sa kanila, sa asawako at sa nagiisa namen anak, mahalin
mo cla ng lubos.
Other:talgang mamahalin ko yung bunso mo
Wounded: bkt?
Other:gag* ka ba, anak ko yun, kinana ko yung asawa mo nung tinulugan mo ako habang nagiinuman
tayo

XD

AMININ! natawa, lumabas man lng gilaged mo no?, kung oo, repu naman...

Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:55 pm

2 words that guys and girls don't want to hear
and afraid of..

for a girl:

"It's over"

for a boy:

"I'm delayed"

--nku nku aman! lagut!

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