| Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D | |
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+6s0ulthresher Mojaruths jerome ~ Tsunade XD nicale021 Lelouch 10 posters |
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:09 am | |
| LETTER
An alcoholic son's letter to his Dad:
Beer dad,
Gin na 'ko mag-iinom whisky kelan man. Tanduayan mo yan.
Your son, Miguel.
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:10 am | |
| maliit na duck - "panduck" tirahan ng maliit na duck - " Pandacan" mataas na duck - "boonduck" nagulat na duck - "nasinduck" photogenic na duck - "kodak" malaking duck sa Ilocos- "duck-il" madaldal na duck - "dakdak" pantakip sa bibig ng madaldal na duck - "duck tape" manggagamot na duck - "ducktor" musikero na duck - "conducktor" | |
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:13 am | |
| Kahit hirap mag-englis, panay pa rin ang ligaw ni Alfredo sa isang Amerikana: KANA: I like men who are frank. ALFREDO: My name is Alfredo, not frank. | |
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:16 am | |
| MAN ASKING GOD Man: God how long is a million years 2 u? God: A second. Man: How much is $1 million to u? God: A cent. Man: Can I have a cent? God: Just a second............ | |
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:21 am | |
| Sabi nila nauubos na raw ang mga puno, isda at ibon
sa mundo. Ang masakit pa rito ay dahan-dahan daw
namamatay ang mga unggoy. Kaya naalala agad kita...
ingat ka ha? | |
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:26 am | |
| Convict: Father, forgive me for I have sinned Priest: Sabihin mo lahat ng kasalanan mo anak. Convict: Father, pinapatay ko ang lahat ng naniniwala sa diyos. Kayo po ba Father naniniwala doon? Priest: Sino yon? | |
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:29 am | |
| Giliw kong nilalangit, Nilalangaw pati puwet, Kung sa langit ikaw ay tala, Sa lupa ikaw ay tekla. Buhok mo'y alon-alon, Kutong mo'y patong-patong, Ngipin mo'y pantay-pantay, Hininga mo'y amoy patay!
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nicale021 VIP Member
Posts : 1151 Join date : 2009-05-28 Age : 30 Location : sa bahaii..!
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:03 pm | |
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--Misis: Hudas ka! lagi kang umuuwing lasing. Naaasar na tuloy ako sa mukha mo.
--Mister: Pero mahal, kung hindi ako lasing, ako naman ang maaasar sa mukha mo
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nicale021 VIP Member
Posts : 1151 Join date : 2009-05-28 Age : 30 Location : sa bahaii..!
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:05 pm | |
| --Q: Ano sa Filipino ang 'chair'?
--A: Salumpuwit!
--Q: E ang 'wheelchair'?
--A: Salumpo!
--Q: E ang 'arthritis'?
--A: Salompas!
--Q: What about 'vinegar'?
--A: E di salumpia!
--Q: Ano naman ang panty?
--A: Salungguhit po!
--Q: Bakit ang oyster ayaw ibigay and kanyang perlas?
--A: Dahil ang oyster ay shellfish
--Q: Anong hayop ang gumagamit ng bra?
--A: Eh di Cobra!
--Q: Anong hayop ang gumagamit ng panti?
--A: Eh di Elepanti!
--Q: Anong hayop ang gumagamit ng brief?
--A: Eh di Bird!
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nicale021 VIP Member
Posts : 1151 Join date : 2009-05-28 Age : 30 Location : sa bahaii..!
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:06 pm | |
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nicale021 VIP Member
Posts : 1151 Join date : 2009-05-28 Age : 30 Location : sa bahaii..!
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sat Jun 27, 2009 6:10 pm | |
| --I don't know if this is a joke.. --cause I find it sweet.. "Alam mo bang napakatanga ko noong pinakasalan kita!" sigaw ni misis na hihiwalay na sa kanyang mister. "Alam ko, pero in-love ako sa iyo noon kaya hindi ko na lang pinansin ang katangahan mo," sagot naman ni mister. | |
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nicale021 VIP Member
Posts : 1151 Join date : 2009-05-28 Age : 30 Location : sa bahaii..!
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 5:29 pm | |
| prayer ng magaganda: "In the name of the powder and of the blush and of the holy lipstick... ..salamen" dear lord please always make me look pretty and lovely all the time.. keep my enemy look ugly and make the boys go crazy over me.. | |
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:17 pm | |
| Mother 2 Titser: Ang anak ko napaka-sensitive po. Kaya, kung me nagawang kasalanan siya, paluin lang ninyo ang katabi niya, ok na iyon. Magtatanda na siya.
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:18 pm | |
| Tatay to anak.. TATAY: Bagsak ka na naman! Ba’t di mo gayahin si Pedro? Palaging may honor. ANAK: Unfair naman kung ikumpara nyo ako kay Pedro. TATAY: Bakit naman? ANAK: Matalino tatay nun
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:24 pm | |
| IN HELL..
EKS HELL IN HELL EKS HELL MAG IKSIRSAYS KA! PARA SUMIGLA HAHAHA | |
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:26 pm | |
| MAGANDA 2NG JOKE NA TO.. GLING SA CELLPHONE..
"SI UZUMAKI NARUTO AY ISANG MAGITING NA NINJA MULA SA BAYAN NG KONOHA"
"IPASA ITO SA 25 TAO AT MAGIGING NINJA KA.. TOTOO ITO.. KASI UNG KAPITBAHAY NAMIN HOKAGE NA.." | |
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:30 pm | |
| May alagang carabao ang tatay….intusan nya ang anak nya… TATAY: “anak painumin mo yung carabao natin.” ANAK: “opo ‘tay.” Pagkalipas ang dalawang minuto… ANAK: “tay ayaw naman uminom ng carabao natin… ” TATAY: “bakit?! saan mo ba kasi pinainom yung carabao?? ” ANAK: “sa baso.” TATAY: “bugok ka pala eh…lagyan mo ng straw!” | |
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:30 pm | |
| Bitoy: “Dagul, bakit ang pandak mo?” Dagul: “Kasi, bata pa lang ako, ulila na ako. ” Bitoy: “Anong kaugnayan nun sa pagiging pandak mo?” Dagul: “Sira pala ulo mo! Wala ngang nagpalaki sa akin! ”
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:35 pm | |
| BATA:ALING NENA MAY UBAS KAYO? ALING NENA:WALA.. NEXT DAY.. BATA:ALING NENA MAY UBAS KAYO? ALING NENA: WALA NGA KAHAPON KA PA HA.. NEXT DAY BATA: ALING NENA MAY UBAS NA PO BA KAYO? ALING NENA:ANG KULIT MO HA! IISTERPLERAN KO YANG BIBIG MO KAPAG MAGTANONG KA PA ULI TUNGKOL SA UBAS! NEXT DAY.. BATA:ALING NENA MAY STAPLER PO KAYO? ALING NENA:WALA BATA: PABILI NALANG HO NG UBAS ALING NENA:GRR | |
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nicale021 VIP Member
Posts : 1151 Join date : 2009-05-28 Age : 30 Location : sa bahaii..!
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nicale021 VIP Member
Posts : 1151 Join date : 2009-05-28 Age : 30 Location : sa bahaii..!
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:39 pm | |
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Teacher: write a story in a few words discussing Religion, Sexuality and Mystery
Student wrote: "My God! I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is?"
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nicale021 VIP Member
Posts : 1151 Join date : 2009-05-28 Age : 30 Location : sa bahaii..!
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:45 pm | |
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nicale021 VIP Member
Posts : 1151 Join date : 2009-05-28 Age : 30 Location : sa bahaii..!
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:52 pm | |
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nicale021 VIP Member
Posts : 1151 Join date : 2009-05-28 Age : 30 Location : sa bahaii..!
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:56 pm | |
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Amo: 'day, ang chalk na toh para mamatay ang ipis. gamitin mu sa pader
Inday: opo ati.
next day, nagulat ang amo, nakasulat sa pader..
"EPES MAMATAY KAYONG LAHAT..!"
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Lelouch VIP Member
Posts : 545 Join date : 2009-06-09 Age : 32 Location : Japan
| Subject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:37 pm | |
| BF: Sunduin kita mamaya ha. Bubusina nalang ako pag nasa harap nako ng bahay nyo. GF: Cge. Anong sasakyan ang dala mo? BF: Wala. Busina lang....
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