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 Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D

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nicale021
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:17 pm



--1st MONTH: He said, "MAMA".

--2nd MONTH: He said, "PAPA".

--3rd MONTH: He said, "DEDE, YAYA".

--4th MONTH: He said, "MAMA, PAPA DEDE YAYA!"

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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:20 pm



--MISTER: (SHOUTING!) Honey, mag-empake ka na,
nanalo ako sa lotto.

--MISIS: Wow! Anong dadalhin ko?

--MISTER: Wala akong pakialam, basta lumayas ka na!

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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Wed Jun 24, 2009 7:25 pm



--Bago mamatay si Mr. Wong ay isa-isa nyang tinawag ang kanyang pamilya.

--Mr. Wong: Akyen junior 'ndyan ba?

--Junior: Dito po!

--Mr. Wong: Akyen panganay 'ndyan ba?

--Panganay: Dito po!

--Mr. Wong: Akyen anak na babae 'ndyan ba?

--Anak: Dito po!

--Mr. Wong: Akyen asawa 'ndyan ba?

--Asawa: Honey, andito ako!

--Mr. Wong: Walahiya! Dito kayo lahat! Wala tao tindahan!

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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 3:42 pm

sa 1 barko kailangan magbawas ng 3 tao dahil lulubog na ito 3 tao ang nag volunteer amerikano,hapon at pilipino

amerikano;goodbye and thank you all sabay talon sa dagat
hapon;pokyu2x panjetaw sayonara watade sabay talon sa dagat
pilipino;mabuhay ang pilipino!!!sabay tulak sa katabi
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 3:44 pm

Pare1: pre me joke ako!
Pare2: sige anu yun?
Pare1: ilan ang liter ng coke?
Pare2: Eh di isa lng!
Pare1: mali! apat!
Pare2: huh? paano? bakit?
Pare1: liter C liter O liter K liter E, di ba, edi apat, hehehe, eto pa, anung mas malaki sa city??
Pare2: huh? sige anu?
Pare1: eh di UTSU! hehehe eto last, anung tagalog ng street?
Pare2: anu??
Pare1: eh di diritsu!! get it get it!

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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 3:46 pm

May isang tao pumapatay ng mga bisaya. Nabalitaan ito nila Inday, Teresa at Marites, na pawang mga Bisaya!

Nakita ng killer si Inday!

Killer: Bisaya ka?
Inday: Hendi!

*BANG!* Pinatay ng killer si Inday!

Dahil dito, nagpraktis sina Teresa at Marites.

Teresa at Marites: Hinde. Hinde. Hinde.

Nakita ng killer si Teresa.

Killer: Bisaya ka?
Teresa: Hinde.
Killer: Ano pangalan mo?
Teresa: Tirisa!

*BANG!* Pinatay ng killer si Teresa!

Dahil dito, nagpraktis si Marites.

Marites: Hinde. Marites. Hinde. Marites!

Nakita ng killer si Marites.

Killer: Bisaya ka?
Marites: Hinde.
Killer: Ano pangalan mo?
Maritess: Marites.

Lumakad na palayo ang killer. Sa sobrang tuwa napasigaw si Marites.

Marites: YIS!!!

*BANG!*

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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:45 pm



--gurl: ipasok muh na

--boy: oo e2 na..



--gurl: dahan2x lahn hah!

--boy: wag ca malikot..




--gurl: aray! mxket!


--boy: pipilitin cuh na, wag ca malikot..











--gurl: aray..! aray..! masaket tlga..





--boy: pakalikot muh kc..







--gurl: aray..! nagdugo na ata..



--boy: ayan..! nagdugo na nga..



--gurL: cge pilitn muh pa


--boy: ayaw tlga eeh..



--gurL: cge pa!








--boy: tang'na, wag ka na nga maghikaw..
paka arte muh!






>>>>>>>weEe, akala muh kung anu nu??


>>repu aman!


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nicale021
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:51 pm



--6 things na wish mong sabihin sau ng nanay mo:

1. Anak gising na pero kung antok ca pa tulog ca pa,
magpalate ka na lahn sa subject mo.

2. Oh eto allowance mo. May dagdag na ean pang
gimik mo.

3. Amoy alak ca?
nagjamming kau? hindi mo acu sinama.

4. Gabi na, tulog ka na,
bukas samahan mo ko, bili tayo ng cp mo.

5. Anjan jowa mo.
papapasukin ko ba sa kwarto moh?

6. Tumawag dean niyo! bagsak ca daw!
Hindi bale, okay lahn ean..
may next sem pa naman eeh..


>>the best un numer 4 at 6!!

>>repu aman jan!!

rofl rofl

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s0ulthresher
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:41 pm

kung hindi mo kayang seryosohin
ngaun pa lang itigil na natin to!

















































-pag aaral

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:44 pm

Boy: Kukunin ko ang mga bituin at ibibigay ko sa iyo!
Girl: Shut up! Hindi mo nga makuha yang kulangot mo, bituin pa!
Boy: Ay sorry, hindi ko alam na ito pala ang gusto mo!

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:44 pm

Intsik : Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, hindi kayo mabubuntis.
Babae : Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo.
(3 months later, galit si babae...)
Babae : Bakit ako nabuntis?
Intsik : Baka hinubad mo!

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:45 pm

GF: Hayop ka, niloloko mo ako!
BF: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawa ah!
GF: Anong wala? Nakita kita kanina, may kasama kang ibang babae magkahawak
pa kamay nyo! Niloloko mo ako!
BF: Makinig ka muna... hindi kita niloloko, maniwala ka... Yung kasama ko
kanina ang niloloko ko!

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:47 pm

Pedro: Ang tapang talaga ni paeng! Biro mo, tumalon sa eroplano nang walang
parachute!
Leo: Ohh, totoo? Saan mo naman nabalitaan yan?
Pedro: Dun sa lamay nya!

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:49 pm

Dr. : Lola, kailan ho kau huling nakipagtalik?
Lola: Mga 1955
Dr..: Matagal na ho pala noh?
Lola: D naman! (sabay tingin sa relo) 20:55 pa lang naman ah!

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:52 pm

Hindi lahat ng videos nilabas na ni Hayden. Yung sa amin ayaw pa nya ipakita.

- Aling Dionisia

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:54 pm

problemado ka ba sa love life mo?


LQ?

Sawi?

Basted?

Single since birth?


Baka kasi nakalimutan mo na sa lahat ng relasyon,kelangang idaan mo muna sa isang napakaimportanteng pagsubok.
Kailangang komunsulta sa paraan ng APOY.














Spoiler:
 

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:03 pm

Girl: Kamusta Lablyf.?


Boy: Eto parang ikaw..













































..Hindi maganda..



hahahaa

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:07 pm

Son: Nay yung GF ko hindi naniniwala sa langit at impyerno.

Mother: Hala pakasalan mo at ipadama mo sa kanya ang langit. At ako na ang bahala sa impyerno.
*Sagot ng malditang ina*
Evil or Very Mad

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:09 pm

walang matigas na tinapay....












































sa mas matigas na tinapay

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:15 pm

teacher: Juan bkit late ka!?

Juan: Late po kc relos ko..

teacher: eh di i advance mo!!

Juan: okay po mamm.. (sabay alis)

teacher: oh san ka pupunta!?



Juan: aalis na po.. uwian na sa relos ko eh.. Laughing

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:23 pm

*Pasyente visit a doctor for a check up.
Doctor: anong problema?
Pasyente: paki-check lang po itong "ari" ko.
Doctor: Ok,hubo' para makita..
Nang makita "ito" ng doctor,napatawa ng malakas ang doctor,dahil singlaki lang ito ng
AAA size na battery.
Pasyente:nasaan po yong code of ethics nyo.di dapat pagtawan ang isang pasyente.
Doctor(try to recover):Sori,di na maulit.Anong problema?
Pasyente: Ito nga po,"namamaga"



waaaaaha

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loneliness is too much to handle for me, but the taste of fresh blood pushes me on... don't you get it? its always darker in my eyes...



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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Sat Jun 27, 2009 8:25 am

juskoo. arvin nakakatawa hahahahaha.. Laughing

hahahahha Laughing d ako maka get over ahahahaha

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sig is for soon. haha. "IF OTHERS CAN, WHY CANT I?
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Sat Jun 27, 2009 10:56 am

YESS! 9 PAGES NA THREAD KO.. OYE OYE
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:06 am

Use CADET in a sentence.
...CADET ko si Maria nung isang gabi. Ngayon, ikaw naman ang
CADET niya.

Use DEDICATE in a sentence.
...Pag ginamitan ng glue, siguradong DEDICATE iyan.

Use CARDIAC in a sentence.
...Na CARDIAC yung kotse ni Pedro noong isang gabi.
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PostSubject: Re: Joke Section! Where Nothing Happens :D   Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:08 am

PINOY POETRY
(1)
Love is an intention,
that goes with affection,
with the intent of injection,
done in the midsection,
in a preferred position,
during a private session.

(2)

Ikaw ba'y nalulungkot, walang
makausap at nabubugnot?
Ba't di mo subukang umutot.
Paligid mo'y babantot.
Tanggal ang lungkot,
Wala pang bugnot!
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